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Up / Down

ImpNaru 2021. 2. 25. 01:03

Up and down.

Vertical movement.
Emotionally unstable.

 

Somehow I was thinking that 'Maybe I could not make it. Or, maybe I am just losing my mind'
And the funny thing is that the frequency of that stuff is changing from rarely to frequently.

Take the pill is helpful on this case.

Probably I should write some article or at least some sort of lab paper of this - emotional thinking and behavior -
Study of... what. Myself? Some sort of useless study?
It's kinda weird... well no. It's not just weird. It's mostly like stupid or retarded.

Well yeah, I have to admit that I am retarded. I am a loser. Not even 'the' loser.
I'm not worth for any kind of happiness. It's just not allowed to me.

What can I do? I mean, if looking for happiness is not allowing to me then what should I do?
Rather than say; "Oh, Fuck my life!".
Snap! I have no idea what to do further. And no idea what can I do too.

It feels like living in dead time / dead space.
Every single hour is making me miserable.
Every single minute is cruel to me.
Every single fucking second is harsh to me.

What I wanted was, just tiny stuff. "Happiness for long time."
Maybe I am not worth it.
Maybe the god (if exists) is hating me.