Up and down.
Somehow I was thinking that 'Maybe I could not make it. Or, maybe I am just losing my mind'
And the funny thing is that the frequency of that stuff is changing from rarely to frequently.
Take the pill is helpful on this case.
Probably I should write some article or at least some sort of lab paper of this - emotional thinking and behavior -
Study of... what. Myself? Some sort of useless study?
It's kinda weird... well no. It's not just weird. It's mostly like stupid or retarded.
Well yeah, I have to admit that I am retarded. I am a loser. Not even 'the' loser.
I'm not worth for any kind of happiness. It's just not allowed to me.
What can I do? I mean, if looking for happiness is not allowing to me then what should I do?
Rather than say; "Oh, Fuck my life!".
Snap! I have no idea what to do further. And no idea what can I do too.
It feels like living in dead time / dead space.
Every single hour is making me miserable.
Every single minute is cruel to me.
Every single fucking second is harsh to me.
What I wanted was, just tiny stuff. "Happiness for long time."
Maybe I am not worth it.
Maybe the god (if exists) is hating me.