it's funny. i am still digging and wallowing middle of dumpster and nothing changes. in reality, every people doing whatever they want. meet some people, having a nice dinner, hanging out and maybe go for travel. but me? whacked. boom! wham! here comes something, smacked me with crowbar. i just i don't have enough guts to pull my trigger off. i'd hope to. to end this story. this loser's life.